Day three of the week and already I have spoken to three different women who have spoken about themselves in a negative way.
Firstly, I was talking to the checkout assistant after she spoke to me regarding the fact that she hadn't noticed I had put my credit card in the machine to pay. I suggested she was already thinking about dinner for tonight. She agreed and said that she was finishing her shift soon, so had already started to think about what to buy, when she shopped after work. I laughed and said "Well, it's what we women do- we plan ahead ." Her response "Well yes I am a bit anal!" My response was "Well I would never suggest that"
My feeling is that just because you like planning or being organised you shouldn't think of yourself in a negative way.
Secondly, I was talking to a different assistant in a garden store whilst buying some plants and I made a comment about her hat. She said that she always wears a hat for gardening, although her mother thinks she is mad. I said it was a very sensible approach that she had, as only last week I had been reading about people who had developed skin cancer through gardening without a hat. Her response "I always wear a hat, even though it makes me look like a scarecrow"
My feeling about this is that she saw herself in a negative way and I didn't know how to respond because it wasn't the response I was expecting. The lady works in a garden centre, so no-one expects her to dress for the Oscars and yet she was still self-conscious of her appearance.
Thirdly, I go to a fitness class that is adjoined by a badminton court. The class is separated from the court by a curtain. Each week, we dance our Fitsteps routine (a fitness routine based on Strictly dance moves, which is great fun) and each week, the men on the adjoining court take it in turns to have a rest and watch the class. This week we had a different instructor and the class is such that there is no point worrying about your appearance. There are some silly moves, but it keeps you moving in a fun way. At the end of the class, I spoke to one of the other ladies about the amount it made us sweat (I know, ladies only glow) and she commented that she felt sorry for the guys watching and it had probably put them off their dinner watching us wiggle our backsides.
My internal response to this is to be horrified at this comment. After all, no-one is making them watch and also why would it put them off their dinner? Again it seems to me that women are always criticising themselves as they think others are already doing so. I take a different view from this lady. They enjoy watching, otherwise why would they watch every week?
All of these ladies were 50+, so maybe my view of how women view themselves is skewed? Perhaps this self-criticism only kicks in after a certain age. However, I suspect not. Maybe it goes some way to explaining why women so easily criticise other women. They do it to themselves, so other women are fair game?
